Comedian Jeffrey Ross brought his new "home movie" of his USO tour with Drew Carey and other talented comics of U.S. military installations in Iraq to the S.F. Film Center in the Presidio last month. It is not your typical, "Well. dinner's over. Now you have to see the video of my summer vacation."
In fact, the tour takes place in four non-stop, sleepless and very dangerous days. Ross and company's itinerary was top secret -- even from them. They traveled only at night in planes, trucks and Blackhawk helicopters. The tension is palpable. "When Robin Williams and David Letterman go to Iraq, they're usually at the heavily-fortified Baghdad Airport and in and out in a few hours," Ross said. "Drew Carey is a former Marine and he wanted us to go to the outposts that are not so secure -- remote installations that are scattered all over Iraq." Ross describes the film, "Patriot Act," as the "funniest movie to come out of Iraq." Not only is it a tribute to the soldiers and Marines serving in Iraq, it's Ross' homage to Bob Hope, who defined the USO tour.
"I thought I could reverse a lifetime of apathy by joining this crazy comedy tour in Iraq when Drew Carey invited me," Ross said. "After 9/11, I was nearly moved to enlist in the military. I thought that meant being a security guard at Old Navy."
One amusing but poignant scene depicts Ross' encounter with Jewish soldiers and Marines in a mess hall as they celebrate Rosh Hashanah.
"I've never been religious," confessed Ross. "But after being here for a while, I began to feel like a Jew and what it means to be a Jew. I never got that 'Jews for Jesus' stuff. That's like 'Dogs for Cats.'"
Also appearing in the movie are comedians Kathy Kinney, Blake Clark (also a Viet Nam vet), Kyle Dunnigan, Andros Fernandez, Rocky LaPorte and the legendary Larry Gelbart. Ross confessed to a standing room crowd at the Film Center that he has mixed feelings about our involvement in Iraq: "I'm for the war, but I'm against the troops."
Yes, that's a joke. He made plenty of friends at the U.S. military high command and has gone on a few more tours subsequent to this trip, which took place just before the capture of Saddam Hussein. The comedians' whirlwind and perilous journey left him a changed man: "I learned that jokes can penetrate bullet-proof vests."
Then Ross wondered, "How could Bob Hope have done this for so long?"
Bruce Bellingham is the author of "Bellingham by the Bay." His e-mail is bruce@brucebellingham.com
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